Indie Spirit

|damn you, Carey|

 

---

The first indie song I ever heard was “I And Love And You” by the Avett Brothers. Love at first sound, you could say.

|Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I’m in?|

To this day, a somewhat spiritual calamity comes over me when that song plays. And I think that’s the way it is for most indie-lovers.

I grew up in a reformed Baptist church. I know all the hymns, the prayers and the Sunday school stories. So when I went to my first mega non-denominational church, I was shell-shocked.

There were people dancing. Jumping. Hands high and voices screaming. I couldn’t even hear myself. So I stood there, hands at my side, mumbling along the words on the screen. It was foreign to me and I hated it. I just didn’t know how to be one of these people.

Last September, my best friend and I went to a Mumford & Sons concert in our city. It was amazing, they played exactly as I imagined they would. They were charming and British and made the crowd laugh. They played Lovers’ Eyes, then Below My Feet, then The Cave — and then they played Little Lion Man. And by that time I was screaming. Jumping. Dancing.

That’s the magic of indie music, and fortunately, there’s no shortage of it.

 

Don’t Mind Me, I’m (Introverted)

“If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell”— that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”

 –Susan Cain

---

Recently at my job, I was told by my superiors that I was in line for a higher position but did not get it because, “You don’t put yourself out there enough, Rachel. If you could just be a little more outgoing.”

My initial response was, “Okay.” and then I walked away.

Later on, I found out they were disappointed that I didn’t put up a fight. But what was I supposed to do? Completely change the core of myself for a dollar more an hour? No. There was a line and they crossed it. They treated my natural introversion like a pimple, like it was something I could just cover up with a little makeup. And that was when I first realized being introverted was not going to be in my favor most of the time.

The person who did get the promotion is nice. Everyone likes that person, they have the best laugh, stories, family, etc.

That person has only worked there for eight months while I’m going on three years. They’re fine at their job. but not great.

My question for the corporate world is: I’m great at my job, I’ve been told so. So why am I overlooked?

Oh, the answer is so simple. Introverts are simply murmurs in a yelling world.