inspired & inspirited

There’s a video I found called “My Mom’s Motorcycle.”

It’s a video of a grandson narrating the lives of both of his grandfather’s achievements and hobbies. He tells us how one liked to fish and hunt, the other liked to sail and invent. But he concludes that those men are not remembered for their hobbies or their personalities – they are remembered for their devotion to their wives, for their big families. He says that it did not matter what those men had, but what those men gave.

I totally encourage watching this video because you are guaranteed to gain some inspiration.


I want to talk about my grandmother.

Her name is Joan Audrey Cobin née Tagliere.

She was born in Chicago, Illinois on June 24th, 1929. She was born right on the cusp of the stock market crash/the beginning of the Great Depression. (October 27, 1929).

She grew up in a two-story house with her 23 cousins and all of their parents because none of them could afford to live separately. She still has a photo from Thanksgiving in 1931 of all 63 of them huddled around 8 tables put together.

When she was older, she moved out of her parents house (that they could finally afford to build) and set off for New York City – because, according to her, “That’s where everyone went.”

While she was a nursing assistant there, she met a man named George Cobin – who was 9 years her junior. They got married on January 19th, 1961 in her apartment with just a few friends.

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They moved to Santa Monica, California and lived there for a while, just enjoying married life. My grandmother didn’t think much on children, she was more interested in her career. George was an athlete and a mathematician, while she was a nurse.

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But you know, birth control wasn’t super common. So on March 10th, 1963, they had their first child, a son, John Macarewich Cobin.

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The happy three lived well in California. They had a nice house, an avocado tree and an overly shedding dog.

In 1965, They had one more child, a daughter named Gina Marie. My grandmother felt the family was good this way, the way she put it, “Two kids, two parents – easy.”

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But things weren’t easy forever. On April 22nd, 1966, George passed away from his short battle with cancer.

It was a shock to the family. He was only 28 years old. And George, well he was always exercising or eating healthy things.

So there my grandmother was, a 36-year-old woman with a part-time job and two kids to feed. She told me she didn’t mourn until a lot later in life, and that’s why she never remarried.


By 1970, my grandmother had worked her way from nursing assistant to head administrator. Her hard work provided a good future for her kids.

Her determination and continuation in the wake of loss inspires me. She took my father, John and my aunt all around the world – never letting them get too comfortable at home. Even to this day she carries on the adventure. She loves to send me books and poetry she likes – just for me to learn. And every summer we have managed to take some sort of trip together, which are incredibly special to me.

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(Chicago trip 2013)

 “What’s there for me in 1966?”

 

 

Bucket List

When I was in 8th grade, a teacher gave my class an assignment of 100 reasonable things we wanted to do before we died. I could only think of 60 at the time. So I decided to type out the ones I had, see how many I’ve done and add some more.

  1. go to an indie concert (or band I love) ✓
  2. ride in a hot air balloon
  3. write a  book
  4. get a tattoo
  5. put my finger on a globe, spin it and travel where it points to
  6. be a bridesmaid/maid of honor ✓
  7. first kiss ✓
  8. fall in love
  9. become friends after a relationship ✓
  10. go to Europe ✓
  11. go to Africa ✓
  12. go to Asia
  13. go on the Maid of the Mist ✓
  14. set foot on all seven continents
  15. get baptized in the Sea of Galilee
  16. see Redwood forest
  17. float in the Dead Sea
  18. see the White House ✓
  19. start a blog ✓
  20. see Machu Picchu
  21. see the Pyramids
  22. learn how to semi-read hieroglyphics
  23. stand in the crown of the Statue of Liberty
  24. read all the books mentioned on Gilmore Girls
  25. watch all the movies mentioned on Gilmore Girls
  26. road trip with a best friend ✓
  27. go back to California with a friend
  28. slow dance to Nat King Cole ✓
  29. swing dance ✓
  30. Sears Tower✓
  31. go to a Murder Mystery Dinner
  32. quit a job that I hate
  33. walk around San Francisco ✓
  34. fast
  35. attend a “Royal” event (wedding, birth announcement, coronation)
  36. go to Auschwitz concentration camp
  37. go on a cruise
  38. not drink soda for a year
  39. go to New Zealand
  40. become a godmother/aunt
  41. get my hair braided in Jamaica or someplace
  42. go to Ireland
  43. fly first class
  44. meet someone famous
  45. send a message in a bottle
  46. see an Orca
  47. ride a dolphin
  48. help someone with one of their bucket list items
  49. attend a TED talk
  50. drive in movie
  51. fill a truck bed with pillows and go watch stars in the middle of nowhere
  52. run a half or whole marathon
  53. be in a play
  54. live in a foreign country ✓
  55. go to Pareeee (Paris)
  56. go to D.C ✓
  57. get married but ELOPE
  58. have kids
  59. have grandkids
  60. go to Comic-Con
  61. go to Coachella/Lollapalooza
  62. learn how to surf
  63. go to the Olympics (summer)
  64. leave a time capsule
  65. see Salem, Massachusetts
  66. live by a lake
  67. go to Harry Potter world
  68. own a convertible
  69. go on a solo vacation
  70. smoke hookah
  71. be in a band
  72. see the house in Holland where grandma grew up
  73. be tri-lingual
  74. learn brail & sign language
  75. go to Westminster Abbey
  76. sit in front of Washington Monument ✓
  77. see a Volcano ✓
  78. bonfire on the beach
  79. read the entire bible
  80. learn how to sew
  81. be on Jeopardy
  82. see a once every 100 years meteor shower or eclipse
  83. run a 5k for charity
  84. see the Grand Canyon
  85. leave a geocaching box somewhere
  86. sing in a cafe/restaurant/other ✓
  87. go on a special date ✓
  88. go to a wedding in a foreign country
  89. start a diary and write in it every day
  90. buy a really nice camera and take thousands of photos
  91. share the gospel in a scary place
  92. own a pearl necklace (✓) — that I will give to my daughter, niece, stepdaughter, god-daughter or younger girl who’s important to me
  93. visit Pixar
  94. pay for someone else’s food or groceries
  95. have a New Year’s Eve kiss
  96. live at college
  97. do a semester abroad
  98. read 1,000 books
  99. create a board game
  100. be remembered for an achievement

20/100. 

Collage

#1, 76, 77, 26

Collage2

#30, 33, 56, 92

Collage3

#10, 6 ,11

People Change

In the course of one month, I have broken up with my first boyfriend, lost my best friend and graduated high school. Change sucks. It sucks having an idea in your head of a certain future one day, then two months later finding out you are not the same person who had those ideas. It sucks when you realize other people had you in their ideas as well but then they changed their mind.

My best friend and I were very close. And I don’t mean Starbucks and shopping, I mean driving around neighborhoods talking about living in a cul-de-sac together with our kids. Right down to the elderly neighbors who would babysit so us couples could have a date night. It was a sweet time in our friendship.

At first, the changes were small. Musical taste and TV show preferences drifted, other friends appeared and I realized she was a pretty different person. She didn’t seem to care much about her old self or life. So I went on and pretended to we were as close as we used to be.

We both met guys we were interested in around the same time. I started dating my guy while she wasn’t even sure her guy was interested in her. It turns out he was. But not in her heart, or her personality. He was solely interested in putting another notch in his bedpost. And she became one very quickly. She lied to me about taking drugs, physicality with him and so many other things just because she was scared of me and she had changed. Ultimately, she ended the friendship – choosing him over me. And I just have to accept that.

At first, I was furious, then depressed. Then I was pensive.

She and I had some great times together. So many laughs, so many stories. And I remember her all the time.

I came to three tearful realizations.

1) I’m so thankful for the time we did have together. 

She came to me at a time when I was searching for new friends, for new opportunities, and she filled that role perfectly when I needed her.

2) She was a blessing to me. (Plain & disguised.)

She was a blessing to me then, and now our friendship ending is another blessing – (maybe this is one a bit more disguised.) A toxic friend is heartbreaking to watch and even more heartbreaking to try to care for.

I am no longer carrying around that fifty pound backpack for her aching back.

3) When I lose one friend, I gain two more. 

I’ve had old friends come back and new friends appear. And they’re probably going to change too – but it’s going to be okay. 

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Indie Spirit

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|damn you, Carey|

 


The first indie song I ever heard was “I And Love And You” by the Avett Brothers. Love at first sound, you could say.

|Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape I’m in?|

To this day, a somewhat spiritual calamity comes over me when that song plays. And I think that’s the way it is for most indie-lovers.

I grew up in a reformed Baptist church. I know all the hymns, the prayers and the Sunday school stories. So when I went to my first mega non-denominational church, I was shell-shocked.

There were people dancing. Jumping. Hands high and voices screaming. I couldn’t even hear myself. So I stood there, hands at my side, mumbling along the words on the screen. It was foreign to me and I hated it. I just didn’t know how to be one of these people.

Last September, my best friend and I went to a Mumford & Sons concert in our city. It was amazing, they played exactly as I imagined they would. They were charming and British and made the crowd laugh. They played Lovers’ Eyes, then Below My Feet, then The Cave — and then they played Little Lion Man. And by that time I was screaming. Jumping. Dancing.

That’s the magic of indie music, and fortunately, there’s no shortage of it.

 

Don’t Mind Me, I’m (Introverted)

“If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell”— that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”

 –Susan Cain


Recently at my job, I was told by my superiors that I was in line for a higher position but did not get it because, “You don’t put yourself out there enough, Rachel. If you could just be a little more outgoing.”

My initial response was, “Okay.” and then I walked away.

Later on, I found out they were disappointed that I didn’t put up a fight. But what was I supposed to do? Completely change the core of myself for a dollar more an hour? No. There was a line and they crossed it. They treated my natural introversion like a pimple, like it was something I could just cover up with a little makeup. And that was when I first realized being introverted was not going to be in my favor most of the time.

The person who did get the promotion is nice. Everyone likes that person, they have the best laugh, stories, family, etc.

That person has only worked there for eight months while I’m going on three years. They’re fine at their job. but not great.

My question for the corporate world is: I’m great at my job, I’ve been told so. So why am I overlooked?

Oh, the answer is so simple. Introverts are simply murmurs in a yelling world.